Family Fortunes Cockups

Revision as of 21:58, 30 March 2009

THE FAMILY FORTUNES COCK-UP LIST

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"We asked 100 people to name..."

A sign of the zodiac: April

Something you beat: Apple

A part of the body with four letters: Arms

Something you have more than two in your body: Arms

A dangerous race: The Arabs

A part of the body everybody has only one of: Big toe

A slang word for money: Bitch (contestant thought Max Bygraves had said 'Mummy')

Some famous brothers: Bonnie and Clyde

Something associated with "Superman": Black hair

A famous cowboy: Buck Rogers

A song with "Moon" in the title: Blue Suede Moon

Something that flies that doesn't have an engine: Bicycle with wings

Something you open other than a door: Bowels

A bird with a long neck: Blackbird

A famous bridge: The Bridge over Troubled Waters

A polite word you'd use to curse: Bugger

An animal beginning with the letter B: Bullfrog

Something that frightens Dracula: Bob Monkhouse

A famous Dick: Carrot

A game played in the dark: Charades

An ingredient you use to stuff chicken: Chicken

A food that can be easily eaten without chewing: Chips (contestant was a soup salesman)

Something found on a fire engine: Coal

Something you associate with the sea: Coffin (contestant thought a word beginning with the letter "c")

Something slippery: Con-man

A way of cooking fish: Cod

A food that's difficult to eat if you wear false teeth (also, on another occasion, if you wear a brace): Curry

Something with a red light on it: Dalek

Name a game played with a black ball: Darts (contestant thought Les said a "black board")

Something that's only useful when it's set: Dead animals for stuffing

Something you wear on the beach: Deckchair

Something you associate with the sea: Deckchair

Something you do in the bathroom: Decorate

Give a good reason for men to dig a hole in the road: Dig a grave (Bob Monkhouse's response at this point was: "There's a sign in the road that says 'Dead Slow!')

A famous Irishman: Disraeli

An animal you might see at a zoo: Dog

Something you'd see in a taxi: Door fittings

A TV soap: Dove

A Cluedo character: Dr. Morse

Something a bridegroom might wear: Dress

A kind of ache: Faceache

Something you trim: Feet

Something that makes you itch: Fibreglass

A kind of ache: Filet-o-fish (he heard "hake")

Something that comes in sevens: Fingers

Something that uses micro chips: Fish fryer

A type of record: Floppy disc

Name a famous Frank: French

An occasion or somewhere you are noticed to be late: Funeral

Something you keep in a garden shed: Gardener

A famous Irishman: Gareth Fitzgerald

Something a hostess does to let her guests know it's time to leave: Goes to bed

An ancient city: Greece

A boy's name beginning with J: Gerald

Something a cat does: Goes to the toilet

A famous Dick: Head

Something a policeman carries with him on duty: Helmet

A game played in bed: Hide and seek

Something that the bride should know before they get married: His name

An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers: Horse

Name something you play in bed: "I Spy" (it was the top answer!)

Something you write on a holiday postcard: I'm going to send you a postcard home

A famous Scotsman: Jock

A jacket potato topping: Jam

Something a dentist would say: Just a small prick

A sport which would be hazardous in a nudist colony: Leapfrog

Something people eat with steak: Kidney Pie

A part of the body beginning with the letter N: Knee

Name one of the Beatles: Lennie (the contestant had meant to say 'Lennon', but it somehow came out as 'Lennie' and Les had to accept the latter as her answer).

A domestic animal: Leopard

Something trainspotters keep in their pocket: Magnifying glass

A singer who is known by one name: Michael Jackson

A form of transport you can walk around in: My foot

Something red: My cardigan

Name something deserted in winter: My sister

A famous Royal: Mail

A bird with a long neck: Naomi Campbell

An annual sporting event: The Olympics

A way to toast somebody: Over a fire (6th most popular answer!)

A type of large cat: Persian

Something associated with Robinson Crusoe: Peter Pan

Something associated with pigs: The police

A non-living object with legs: Plant

A method of securing your home: Put the kettle on

A food that can be brown or white: Potatoes

A cheese named after an English county: Philadelphia

Something you do standing on a chair: Read

Something associates with "The Three Bears": Red Riding Hood

Something you put on walls: Roofs

An annual sporting event: Running

A number you have to memorise: Seven

A famous 'Arthur' : Shakespeare (contestant thought Les said "author")

Something made of wool: Sheep

Something you might accidently leave on all night: Shoes

Something you do before going to bed: Sleep

A job a working dog does: Slave

A bird with long legs: Sparrow (This answer was given in the Bob Monkhouse-era, many years before another contestant gave the answer 'Naomi Campbell' as a bird with a long neck. In those early years of the show, if only a contestant had come up with it, an alternative bird with long legs could have been Twiggy!)

Something that makes you scream: Squirrel

Part of a Christmas turkey: Stuffing

Something a blind man might use: Sword

Something a dentist would say: Smile and relax

A character from Cluedo: Steve

Apart from 'snowman' a word beginning with 'snow': Sugar

Something you do in the event of a power cut: Switch the light on

Something in the garden that's green: The shed

Something people might be allergic to: Skiing

Something you have with coffee: The Sunday Sport

A famous Harry Enfield character: Sooty

Something you wouldn't try even once: Sex in a train

Something bad you wouldn't think about: Sex

Something your partner can't do without: Sex

Something you like that's bad for you: Sex. (At this point Max Bygraves said to the contestant, "You're doing this the wrong way, you know, dear", to which she replied, "No, I'm not - I've got five children!")

Something you would do if you ran out of clean underpants: Sprinkle on some talcum powder

A game played in bed: Tents

Something children miss most on holiday: The toilet

A famous Irishman: Thomas O'Malley. (Max's (somewhat ironic!) response here was, "Yeah, that's a good one - he keeps the fish shop at Kilburn!")

A game played in bed: Trampoline

A famous Irishman: Trevor McDonald

A bird with long legs: Turkey

Something you'd take with you to the beach: Turkey

The first thing you'd buy at the supermarket: Turkey

An item of clothing you might borrow from your partner: Underwear

A famous Scotsman: Vinny Jones

Something you do in an anorak: Wear it

Something with a hole in it: Window

Something that floats in the bath: Water

Something you might do in a lift: Wee

Something a car can have two of: Wheels

A bird you might find near water: Woman

Something you put out for the birds: Worms

A song with yellow in the title: Yellow Banana

A song with yellow in the title: Yellow Garden

One of "The Three Bears": Yogi

Something you stroke: You stroke a match

The last thing you take off before going to bed: Your feet

A place where you'd keep a pen: The zoo

A type of bean: Lesbian (Les Bean)

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