Family Fortunes Cockups
THE FAMILY FORTUNES COCK-UP LIST
If you have any more gems to add, please Contact us.
"We asked 100 people to name..."
A sign of the zodiac: April
Something you beat: Apple
A part of the body with four letters: Arms
Something you have more than two in your body: Arms
A dangerous race: The Arabs
A part of the body everybody has only one of: Big toe
A slang word for money: Bitch (contestant thought Max had said 'Mummy')
Some famous brothers: Bonnie and Clyde
Something associated with "Superman": Black hair
A famous cowboy: Buck Rogers
A song with "Moon" in the title: Blue Suede Moon
Something that flies that doesn't have an engine: Bicycle with wings
Something you open other than a door: Bowels
A bird with a long neck: Blackbird
A famous bridge: The Bridge over Troubled Waters
Someone associated with the Wild West: Buck Rogers
A polite word you'd use to curse: Bugger
An animal beginning with the letter B: Bullfrog
A job for which you would need a torch: Burglar
Something you would associate with Dracula: Bob Monkhouse
A famous Dick: Carrot
A point of entry used by a burglar: A cat flap (it was the 6th most popular answer)
A game played in the dark: Charades
An ingredient you use to stuff chicken: Chicken
A food that can be easily eaten without chewing: Chips (contestant was a soup salesman)
Something found on a fire engine: Coal
Something you associate with the sea: Coffin (contestant thought a word beginning with the letter "c")
Something slippery: Con-man
A way of cooking fish: Cod
A food that's difficult to eat if you wear false teeth (also, on another occasion, if you wear a brace): Curry
Something with a red light on it: Dalek
Name a game played with a black ball: Darts (contestant thought Les said a "black board")
Something that's only useful when it's set: Dead animals for stuffing
Something you wear on the beach: Deckchair
Something you associate with the sea: Deckchair
Something you do in the bathroom: Decorate
Give a good reason for men to dig a hole in the road: Dig a grave (Bob's response at this point was: "There's a sign in the road that says 'Dead Slow!')
A famous Irishman: Disraeli (the same family also suggested Des O'Connor and Tom O'Connor, respectively a Londoner and a Liverpudlian)
An animal you might see at a zoo: Dog
Something you'd see in a taxi: Door fittings
A TV soap: Dove
A Cluedo character: Dr. Morse
Something a bridegroom might wear: Dress
A kind of ache: Faceache
Something you trim: Feet
Something that makes you itch: Fibreglass
A kind of ache: Filet-o-fish (he heard "hake")
Something that comes in sevens: Fingers
Something that uses micro chips: Fish fryer
A type of record: Floppy disc
Name a famous Frank: French
An occasion or somewhere you are noticed to be late: Funeral
Something you keep in a garden shed: Gardener
A famous Irishman: Gareth Fitzgerald
Something a hostess does to let her guests know it's time to leave: Goes to bed
An ancient city: Greece
A boy's name beginning with J: Gerald
Something a cat does: Goes to the toilet
A famous Dick: Head
Something a policeman carries with him on duty: Helmet
A game played in bed: Hide and seek
Something that the bride should know before they get married: His name. (Max's response was, "Yeah - the two of you in the back of a taxi - 'With whom am I having the pleasure?'")
An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers: Horse
Name something you play in bed: "I Spy" (it was the top answer!)
Something you write on a holiday postcard: I'm going to send you a postcard home
A famous Scotsman: Jock
A jacket potato topping: Jam
Something a dentist would say: Just a small prick
A sport which would be hazardous in a nudist colony: Leapfrog
Something you pour tea into: A kettle
Something people eat with steak: Kidney Pie
A part of the body beginning with the letter N: Knee
Something you close: Legs
Name one of the Beatles: Lennie (the contestant had meant to say 'Lennon', but it somehow came out as 'Lennie' and Les had to accept the latter as her answer).
A domestic animal: Leopard
Something trainspotters keep in their pocket: Magnifying glass
A singer who is known by one name: Michael Jackson
A form of transport you can walk around in: My foot
Something red: My cardigan
Name something deserted in winter: My sister
A famous Royal: Mail
A bird with a long neck: Naomi Campbell
An annual sporting event: The Olympics
A way to toast somebody: Over a fire (6th most popular answer!)
A type of large cat: Persian
Something associated with Robinson Crusoe: Peter Pan
Something associated with pigs: The police
A non-living object with legs: Plant
A method of securing your home: Put the kettle on
A food that can be brown or white: Potatoes
A cheese named after an English county: Philadelphia
Something you do standing on a chair: Read
Something associates with "The Three Bears": Red Riding Hood
Something you put on walls: Roofs
An annual sporting event: Running
A number you have to memorise: Seven
A famous 'Arthur' : Shakespeare (contestant thought Les said "author")
Something made of wool: Sheep
Something you might accidently leave on all night: Shoes
Something you do before going to bed: Sleep
A job a working dog does: Slave
A bird with long legs: Sparrow (This answer was given in the Bob Monkhouse-era, many years before another contestant gave the answer 'Naomi Campbell' as a bird with a long neck. In those early years of the show, if only a contestant had come up with it, an alternative bird with long legs could have been Twiggy!)
Something that makes you scream: Squirrel
Part of a Christmas turkey: Stuffing
Something a blind man might use: Sword
Something a dentist would say: Smile and relax
A character from Cluedo: Steve
Apart from 'snowman' a word beginning with 'snow': Sugar
Something you do in the event of a power cut: Switch the light on
Something in the garden that's green: The shed
Something people might be allergic to: Skiing
Something you have with coffee: The Sunday Sport
A famous Harry Enfield character: Sooty
Something you wouldn't try even once: Sex in a train
Something bad you wouldn't think about: Sex
Something your partner can't do without: Sex
Something you like that's bad for you: Sex. (At this point, Max said to the contestant, "You're doing this the wrong way, you know, dear", to which she replied, "No, I'm not - I've got five children!")
A native American tribe: Sigh Ooks. (the contestant had caught a glimpse of the top answer on Les' card, but didn't know how to pronounce "Sioux")
Something you would do if you ran out of clean underpants: Sprinkle on some talcum powder
A game played in bed: Tents
Something children miss most on holiday: The toilet
A famous Irishman: Thomas O'Malley. (Max's (somewhat ironic) response here was, "Yeah, that's a good one - he keeps the fish shop at Kilburn!")
A game played in bed: Trampoline
A famous Irishman: Trevor McDonald
A bird with long legs: Turkey
Something you'd take with you to the beach: Turkey
The first thing you'd buy at the supermarket: Turkey
An item of clothing you might borrow from your partner: Underwear
A famous Scotsman: Vinny Jones
Something you do in an anorak: Wear it
Someone associated with the Wild West: Wild Bill Heecock (Les took a moment to work this one out, but did (rightly) accept it as 'Wild Bill Hicock', although he couldn't resist adding, "Something Cock").
Something with a hole in it: Window
Something that floats in the bath: Water
Something you might do in a lift: Wee
Something a car can have two of: Wheels
A bird you might find near water: Woman
Something you put out for the birds: Worms
A song with yellow in the title: Yellow Banana
A song with yellow in the title: Yellow Garden
One of "The Three Bears": Yogi
Something you stroke: You stroke a match
The last thing you take off before going to bed: Your feet
A place where you'd keep a pen: The zoo
A type of bean: Lesbian (Les Bean)
