Do I Not Know That?
ITV Sport Channel, 2001-2
Actually rather good football quiz contested by teams of fans representing their clubs. There were five players on each team, but only three were active at any given time, the captain having the option to substitute players between rounds. Three teams competed in each episode.
The first round was the Home Team round, each team getting one minute to answer questions on their club, and each player being asked a question in turn. Then came the Video Round, in which each team were shown a montage of general football footage and then asked questions about it, answering through their captain. In the Specialist Round one player from each team faced a minute of questions on their club's performances in a particular season, and finally there was a two-minute Buzzer Round, which was exactly like every other buzzer round you've ever seen, with one minor twist: a first wrong answer earned a "yellow card" (no penalty), but subsequent wrong answers resulted in a "red card" (one point deducted).
Although our complete ignorance of the "beautiful game" prevents us from playing along, we can appreciate a well put-together quiz when we see one, and this certainly was. The pacing was good, O'Brien as host was amiable while still taking the quiz seriously, and even the incorporation of football jargon into the language of the show felt seamless (besides the "yellow/red cards" and the substitutions, the players stood on the "penalty spot" for the specialist round, and naturally the bumpers for the ad break declared it "Half Time"). A shame that the show's Mastermind-like lighting scheme was rather undercut by the ITV Sport Channel's garish blue and yellow bug, but the actual format was pretty sound and deserved an outing on, dare we say it (yes we do), a proper TV channel instead of an unloved subscription-only OnDigital service.
We don't know, but it doesn't half sound like a strange downbeat version of New Order's "Thieves Like Us".